Full Term

I have reached 37 weeks and my baby is now full term! Woo hoo!  He could be born any time now and would probably be perfectly healthy.  We met with an obstetrician last week and had a really good experience.  I really liked him and he seems really flexible and willing to accommodate our desires for Austin's birth.  Here's the plan as it stands today:  I have an appt. tomorrow for an ultrasound.  The dr. will check my fluid levels and see how much Austin has grown and from that he will determine whether or not to attempt a version.  If Austin doesn't have enough room, he won't even try the version and I will schedule my c-section.  If Austin does have enough room, we will schedule a version.  For the version, I will go to the hospital, get an epidural, then they'll try the version.  If the baby moves to the correct position, they will immediately induce my labor.  If he doesn't, they will immediately give me a c-section. All this will occur around 39 weeks and tomorrow I'll know the exact date!  I am so done and therefore so excited to have a specific day to count down to!

Not to whine (whenever someone says this, you know they're about to whine), but my ribs have never hurt so bad in my whole life.  Austin lodges his head firmly in them and I hope they're all still in tact.  The area around them is definitely bruised.  It's a crazy experience having a head so far up there.  I think his position is making my belly ginormous too.  He's not utilizing the space in my pelvis at all and I think it makes him stick out a bunch.  I have very few maternity outfits that still fit me.  That's never happened to me before in pregnancy.  Pretty much everything is too tight or too short.  I'm definitely not buying anything bigger though because soon I won't need them at all!  Hooray!

We have ordered pretty much everything we'll need for Austin's arrival.  I'm so excited to get a bunch of Amazon packages on my front porch later today!  It will feel so good to finally say I am completely ready.  I do have some serious cleaning to do first though.  I've been keeping up with the laundry and washing lots of baby clothes so that will simplify things.  Can't wait to have his birthday scheduled and start counting down the minutes! :)

My belly has grown immensely in the last few weeks!

A different view.  Justin is always telling me how strong I am.  I mean, look at me, my veins are popping out of my arms!  I'm like the hulk or something.

A little bum(med)

Lots to update today.  At my last prenatal appt. with Suzanne, we discovered that Austin may be breech.  Suzanne checked his position and thought he was head down but then I asked her what the giant, hard, round ball torturing my ribs was.  She felt it and said it felt quite a bit like a head.  It was hard and moveable, just like heads are.  We made an appointment for Monday (today), to confirm Austin's position by ultrasound and, if he was indeed breech, to attempt an external version.

I spent a few days wondering if the giant ball in my ribs was, indeed, a head.  I felt nervous and curious and anxious, but somehow I also felt very accepting of any outcome, as long as my baby was safe.  I felt pretty certain that I could feel the side of his face in my ribs.  I knew the chances of the version working were not high.

Well, as it turns out, he is definitely breech.  He also has the cord wrapped around his neck what looks like a few times.  Ugh.  It wouldn't be safe to attempt a version with him all tangled up in his cord.  Pretty much my only safe option at this point is to find an ob and schedule a cesarean section.  After 3 normal, fast, easy, safe home births, this is not at all what I wanted or expected.

BUT, I'm trying to look on the bright side.  I know I have to mourn the loss of what I wanted a little, but then I need to move on and start looking forward to the birth of my baby.  So I'm making a list of pros:

1. The biggest pro of all is that Austin can be born safely, without the risk of him getting stuck, or his cord compressing too much.
2. I'll be able to schedule my c-section which is really convenient for Justin taking work off and for getting babysitters, etc.
3. I will, probably, be scheduling my c-section earlier than Austin's due date which means less time being pregnant, and a less ginormo baby.  His estimated weight as of today is 6 lbs. 6 oz. or maybe 7 lbs. 6 oz.  If I'm pregnant till my due date, that makes for AT LEAST a 9 lb. baby.  If I go a week or two early, I might get a newborn-sized newborn.  It's been a while.
4. I probably won't experience any labor pain.  While it is hugely rewarding and satisfying to me to accomplish the feat of natural labor and childbirth, it is still something I get anxious and scared about and I won't have to worry about it now.
5. It will be cheaper.  I'm pretty sure our insurance covers all but 1000 bucks which is 2000 cheaper than we planned on.  That'll be super nice.

That's all I have come up with at the moment.  Hopefully I'll think of some more pros as I prepare for this new adventure.  I'm sure it's all for a reason.  I will gain new experience and be able to relate to people who have been in the same situation.  I'm sure there are many things to be learned from it all and I'm grateful for the opportunity to grow and expand my mind.  

Now the obstetrician search begins.  I mostly want someone who is a good and experienced surgeon.  However, there are a few things that are really important to me that I'm afraid I'll have to really push to get.

1. It is hugely important to me that I have skin to skin contact with my baby very shortly after his birth.  I know it facilitates bonding and an easier nursing experience, among many other benefits.  I feel very strongly that a baby that was inside of me for 9 months should not be quickly whisked away to a table to be prodded and poked and weighed and measured and diapered and burrito wrapped.  He was just in me, he should now be on me.
2. I don't want to him to get goop in his eyes, a vitamin K shot, or any immunizations.  I want to wait a few days and only do 1 pku.
3. I don't want to be in a separate room from him for a single moment.  Someone who has been so close to me for so long should not suddenly be all the way in another room.  Especially someone so vulnerable and helpless as a newborn baby.  I think that would be emotionally distressing for him and for me.
4. I want a provider who is going to listen to me and take me seriously and consider my wishes.

I've got a lot to think about and plan over the next few weeks!

35 weeks!  I am carrying super high because he is not, at all, engaged in my pelvis.

31 weeks. .the single digit weekly countdown is on!

I will be 31 weeks pregnant in a few days.  I've got about 9 weeks till my "guess date."  65 days.  It's really getting down to it.  In some ways, 65 days seems endlessly long.  I think the fact that the season has to change makes it feel longer.  I'm so excited to have a sweet little spring baby again though.  I am not, however, excited to have a post-baby body all summer long.  :)

In some ways, 65 days is sooooo short.  In 65 days I have to have a van, stroller, all the baby clothes I need, a clean and organized house, $2000 bucks for my midwife, and so on and so on.  In 65 days I will have my last baby.  In 65 days my kids will have another sibling, I will experience childbirth for the last time, I will begin again to be a nursing mommy.  In 65 days my family will be complete!  It's not long at all, really.  :)

As far as physical/medical stuff goes, I found out this pregnancy that I am RH-.  Somehow it got overlooked or confused in my previous pregnancies.  I got a shot of Rhogam (very stingy but not as bad as I thought it would be).  My iron is low so I've been taking liquid iron (Floradix).  It's quite foul tasting, especially because Justin reminds me regularly that it tastes like blood.  It really does.  I feel like Bella Swan.  My legs are starting to get super restless.  My midwife suggested that I take a bath before bed with epsom salts and drink some liquid magnesium.  I tried it for the first time last night and it seemed to really relax me and put me right to sleep.  Austin is not yet engaged in my pelvis and he's in a posterior position (ouchy).  My back and hip are definitely suffering.  There are a few exercises i am going to start doing to help him get in the proper position but he's got lots of time to move still so I'm not too worried yet.  I measured 27 cm at my 30 week appointment.  Although I am measuring small, I still feel confident that this child is somewhat of a beast.  :)  All of my other pregnancies measured small too.

I've started listening to some relaxation and labor day rehearsal scripts at night.  Austin seems to love it.  Maybe because I'm able to really relax my uterus and he has more room to wiggle.  He moves like crazy the whole time I'm listening but I'm so relaxed that I just fall asleep despite his wiggles.  I vacillate between feeling anxious and scared and feeling so determined and ready to tackle this labor.  I'm afraid of pain, afraid of a long labor, afraid of complications (like my giant baby getting stuck).  I hope my waters stay in tact this time until I'm ready to push.  It makes things much less intense.  I'm afraid that I won't be able to maintain my calm and that will make me feel out of control and I will freak out.  BUT, even more than being afraid, I am determined.  Only a few hours of labor separate me from holding my baby and from being very comfortably NOT pregnant.  I'd be willing to do just about anything to obtain those two things, so labor is cake.

I've always wanted to hire a photographer to capture my labor/birth experiences, and this is my last chance, so I did it!  I'm really excited to have the experience captured through some high quality photos.  Everyone that has done it in the past has done a great job but I've always felt bad asking anyone close to me to do it because I know they have to miss out on some of the experience, stuck behind a camera.  I'm glad everyone will be free to observe, support, or do whatever they want to do.  :)

I have switched to having prenatal appointments every 2 weeks now so I will try to update if anything has changed at my 32 week appointment.  So excited!  Austin can't come soon enough.

28ish Weeks

Grooooooowing all the time.  My belly button feels like it's about to explode.  I only have 12 weeks left of this pregnancy, or any pregnancy for that matter.  I can't wait!

No, I still haven't cleaned the mirror.  :)

26 Weeks 3 Days

It's been quite a while since I blogged and way too long since I posted a belly shot.  My pictures are going to go from barely pregnant, to beached whale.  I'm beginning to feel like a hippo.  I swear I'm bigger than I've been in any of my pregnancies.  My pelvis hurts so bad, just lifting my leg to walk is excruciating.  Ugh!!  I wish I could exercise and keep my weight gain to a minimum, but it just hurts way too bad right now.  Such is life.

Since I last wrote we discovered that our baby is a boy!!  We were hoping for and really thinking we were going to have a girl so it was a bit of an adjustment, but we are very happy about it now and can't wait to welcome our sweet baby boy.  We have decided on a name: Austin David Barlow.  As soon as I saw his little face on the ultrasound, I knew it didn't matter what gender he was, I loved him.  That made accepting the fact that he was a boy much easier.  We are a 1 princess family and I'm sure Charity will get extra spoiled as a result.  :)

I have 95 days left till my due date and I cannot wait!  Pregnancy is not my friend.  I love having a baby though and I guess that's the best way to get one.  :)   Lets just say I am very happy that this is the last time for me!  I can't wait to cradle, cuddle, kiss, and feed my babe.  I can't wait to see what he looks like and discover what type of personality he has.  I can't wait to feel his soft skin and hair.  I can't wait for our family to grow and change and become even more joyful.  95 days!!  I'll try to blog more often during that time.

We announced his gender by sending around this pic.  

Showing off his man parts (clearly a boy)

Austin David

I probably should have cleaned the mirror first.  Whoa Mama!  I assure you, the smile is forced.  :)

11 WEEKS!

I only have 2 maternity shirts thus far so I'm sure
they will be making frequent appearances here.  :)

I have now completed 11 weeks of pregnancy.  Yay!  My belly is starting to grow and fill out even more. I'm pretty sure I am undeniably pregnant looking at this point.  Which is good, way better than slightly chubby looking.  I am beginning to feel less and less sick.  I only had to take meds a couple of times in the last week.  My morning sickness seems to have gone away and now I only have evening sickness.  Every day around dinner time I get super nauseas.  During the rest of the day though, it's manageable, as long as I eat the right stuff at the right time.

I have an appt. with a midwife here in Austin so I can have my thyroid levels checked asap.  She'll do a prenatal visit as well so it will be fun to get to hear my baby's heartbeat again.  I am so excited to move on to this next phase of pregnancy.  My baby will be growing very quickly and soon I'll be able to feel him/her moving around inside of me.  That's always my favorite part of pregnancy.  I can't wait!

10 down, 30 to go. . .

I am now 1/4 of the way through my pregnancy!  Hooray!  It sounds like a lot when I put it that way.  My baby is now officially a fetus with all it's vital organs formed and beginning to function.  Only 8 weeks and I get to find out my baby's gender.  I cannot wait!  I seem to be beginning to have less morning sickness now and don't need to take my meds quite as often.  Which is a good thing cuz it gives me horrid headaches.  I'm still counting down till my 1st trimester ends and hopefully the nausea calms down permanently.  Just 3.5 weeks till then.

We have decided to move back to Utah and we are focusing a lot of our attention on that right now which helps time pass for me.  I am so excited to be with family again and experience the pregnancy milestones with them.  I'm so thrilled that my baby will know its extended family.  I can't wait to have Suzanne for a midwife again.  I am just anxious for everything to work out as quickly as possible!  I have a feeling life is about to get a whoooooole lot busier.

Alright, I guess it's time for the 9 weeks post.

The past week has been filled with ups and downs.  I thrived on my medicine for a few glorious days, and then it stopped working and I started puking again.  That wasn't fun.  So I got some Zofran.  I'm no longer throwing up and I have somewhat of an appetite, but I do feel nauseas.  Quite nauseas.  I guess that's how this medicine works.  Take off the edge and stop the puke.  I'll take it!

Mornings are going well for me.  I wake up with energy and drive.  I get as much done as I can during that time.  I've been really busy preparing for and teaching joy school and it's been really fun.  I spend a good part of the morning getting the kids ready and off to school with help from Justin (thank goodness).  I've been grocery shopping and cleaning in the mornings.  Unfortunately, morning passes and hell begins.  Around 2:30 I start to feel miserably sick and soooo tired.  Every day that passes brings me a day closer to my 2nd trimester and I can't wait!  Clearly, patience is a lesson God would have me learn.  I'm trying!

Jacob spent some time snuggling my belly yesterday.  It's so so nice to have him hug and kiss "the baby."  It's not so nice when he tells me how squishy it is.  :)  When the kids got home from school yesterday he told Everett, "Our baby's gonna come out!"  Ah, someday!  He tells me there's a baby inside of him too.  Not sure how to break the news to him that that's never going to happen.  I guess he'll figure it out in time.  I bought him a little baby doll and he has fun pretending it's talking and walking.  I showed him how to hold it gently and he really loved that.

Everett doesn't show a ton of interest but does sometimes talk about the babe.  He is happy about it but very busy in his own world of Kindergarten, reading, and time on the Wii!  Charity is more willing to help me, knowing that I don't feel well.  She is excited for the baby but also understands that it takes a loooong time so she's not very focused on it yet.

Justin is still a huge help to me despite being very busy with work and other various projects.  He is probably starting to get bored with his sick wife who never wants to leave the house in the evenings and falls asleep by 9 without fail.  The smell of his shampoo, deodorant, skin, breath, hair, etc. gives me goose bumps (not in a good way) so he's probably sick of feeling like the black plague.  He is a good and patient husband and I can't wait to feel better so I can pull my own weight around here!

This week was better than last and I'm hoping next week is even better!  I came across an AWESOME site that shows amazing photos of fetal development.  Check it out: http://www.ehd.org/prenatal-images.php?thum_id=358  I didn't know my baby was so cute already!  Hooray!

I realize it's a horrid picture but that's what you get when you take a picture of yourself in a dirty bathroom mirror with the flash on.  The bump is clearly visible so I'm okay with it.  :)

8 Weeks

Today I am 8 weeks pregnant!  That's 2 months.  Hooray!  As I pondered over this past week I thought, "How am I going to write about this week and stay true to my blog's title.  I honestly don't know how to take a positive spin on what was an awful week."  I spent a lot of time becoming intimately acquainted with my toilet bowl.  I felt miserable.  I was dehydrated, dizzy, nauseas, exhausted, and emotionally overwhelmed.  I lost 5 lbs just last week.  BUT THEN. . . two wonderful things happened.

First of all, I had an ultrasound and got to see my little babe.  When I showed up at the dr. I had no idea they planned to give me an ultrasound and wasn't interested in getting one, but they insisted that in order to see the dr., they had to give me one.  "After all", the nurse said, "we don't even know you are pregnant."  Hello!  Pee test!  Anyway, at first I was upset and then I got over it and just wanted to get it done so I could see the dr.  I'm really glad I did because seeing my baby was amazing.  I could see and hear it's tiny heart beating.  It doesn't even have clearly defined arms and legs yet, but still, something about seeing my baby made me love it.  I felt instantly that all of the difficulty I have had is so worth it.  It was so rewarding to see what all of this sickness is going toward: the creation of a human being!  It blows my mind.

Secondly, after my ultrasound, I visited with the dr. and he prescribed me some meds to help with my nausea and vomiting.  HOO freaking RAY!  I can't stress how ecstatic that makes me.  I took a pill yesterday and one today and so far today has been pretty good.  Am I still nauseas?  Oh yeah, but I actually had an appetite this morning and I was able to eat breakfast, enjoy it, and keep it down.  I am thrilled.  I am very optimistic that this medicine will make things bearable for the remainder of this first trimester until I'm feeling good enough on my own to eat what this baby needs.

So there you have it, still trying to take a positive approach.  :)

7 weeks. . .and counting.

This week has been, to put it lightly, a rough one.  I have felt so so so very sick.  This Sunday around lunch time, my tooth started aching.  It started out a little sore, and within an hour I was moaning and writhing around in pain.  Justin tried calling a million dentists and no one would see me because it was after hours and I was not a patient.  I ended up taking percocet because I was in so much pain.  Anyone who knows me well knows that it must have been serious because I hate taking medicine unless absolutely necessary.  Every six hours on the dot I needed another pill all through Sunday and Sunday night.  The next day, Justin stayed home to watch the kids while I went to see the dentist.  I hurled up both my breakfast and lunch (I know you wanted to know that), and could barely eat dinner.  I'm hoping it was just the after-effects of percocet that made me so nauseas and not just pregnancy because a pregnant girl has got to eat.  At the dentist I found out that I need a root canal and a $1200 crown!  Holy Schneikies!  Basically it was a terrible, awful, no good, very bad weekend.

However, I woke up this morning feeling okay.  I drank a protein shake for breakfast and still felt okay.  I took Jacob to his first day of preschool and still felt okay.  I ate lunch at torchy's and still felt okay.  I went to a meeting, went to the store, and picked up Jacob, and I still feel okay!  Hooray!  I think feeling so awful over the weekend has really put things in perspective for me.  It could always be worse and I'm grateful that I'm only feeling as sick as I am, because I know there could be a million things piled on top of it and today, there aren't.  I'm feeling pretty optimistic at the moment.

I am so so grateful for Justin.  I feel like he's my mommy right now.  :)  He does everything for me when I'm not feeling well.  Grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, child care, making me tea every day, serving me food (no small task when I'm feeling so picky), making appointments for me, doing all he can to get the kids ready for school, scratching my back, entertaining me AND kicking butt at his full time job and free lance work, among other things.  Thank you honey!  I love you so much and can't wait till I feel well enough to return the favor.  I'm also grateful for great friends who have sympathized, cooked dinner, and watched kids for me.  You know who you are.  Thank you!

When things were hard this weekend I had a really hard time focusing on the fact that at the end of this pregnancy, I get to have another amazing child.  Today while I was driving back from Jacob's preschool, I felt so so excited just thinking about how wonderful it is going to be to hold my sweet baby.  It's going to be so fun to see Charity, Everett, and Jacob greet a new sibling.  I can't wait to see how our lives change.  I know things won't be perfect, but another member of our family=more love.  More love is always a wonderful thing!

I lost a couple pounds this week with all the sickness, but the baby bump is still coming along nicely!

6 weeks preggo

Our baby is about the size of a small pea now.

I'm feeling human enough to sit down and type a blog post real quick.  Tomorrow I'll be 6 weeks pregnant.  They say morning sickness is supposed to start about now but, for me, it's already in full swing.  Everything makes me sick.  Good smells, bad smells, any taste, even certain words make me ill.  I'm trying really hard to be positive still and force myself to smile and say how happy I am or how much I love whatever I'm eating.  That helps a little.  The kids are about to start school and I have a million and one things to do so I think I will be sufficiently distracted over the next week to not go completely crazy.  I know that looking back, this time will have flown by.  

I have my first appointment with a midwife tomorrow so that is something exciting to look forward to!   I can't wait to hear a heart beat, see an ultrasound, and ultimately, have my baby in my arms! 

Baby #4 Week #6

I have now completed 5 weeks of pregnancy.  I am really starting to feel pregnant now.  I wake up starving and nauseated and still feeling exhausted.  I have strange cravings and aversions.  I never want to eat chicken again.  Yesterday I wanted to eat freshly cooked pasta with nothing on top.  From lunch till after dinner seems to be my sickest time of day.  I'm bloated beyond belief.  If I relax my tummy completely, I look 5 months pregnant rather than 5 weeks.  I'm exhausted.  I have strange and vivid dreams.  My back hurts.  I have had lots of cramps.  I'm exhausted.  I have heartburn.  I'm exhausted.  Oh, did I mention I'm exhausted?  :)

They say you show sooner with each pregnancy.  I'm living proof.

Justin and I get excited with each new symptom that comes along.  What we've prayed and hoped for for so long is finally here!  We had family come to visit last week and decided that we would tell them the good news but we wanted to tell our kids first so when Justin said our bed time prayer, he thanked Heavenly Father for several blessings, each of our kids, our home, and the last thing he mentioned was that he was grateful that mommy is pregnant and we are going to have a new brother or sister in our family.  Charity was thrilled, Everett was mildly interested, and Jacob didn't seem to understand at all.  Despite their different reactions, when the big day comes, I know they are all going to be wonderful older siblings to their little brother or sister.

We told Justin's mom and sisters, my sisters and Daryl and all of their kids.  Everyone seemed happy and excited!  My side of the family hasn't had a new baby for a while.  Jacob was the last one and that was almost 3 years ago.  We had tons of fun having our family in town although I probably wasn't the best hostess, napping during the day and going to bed early at night.

We are enjoying thinking about baby names and already wondering about our baby's gender.  Charity says she doesn't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's tiny.  Hopefully she won't be too disappointed if I bust out a 13 pounder.  Let's pray that doesn't happen.  :)

I found out from my endocrinologist that my Vitamin D is low so I'm trying to get an appt. with a midwife asap so I can get a good prescription to bring my levels up.  I'll be meeting with my endo once a month during this first trimester to make sure my thyroid levels are in check.

There is soooo much to do before the birth of this baby.  I got rid of all my baby stuff (thinking I was done having kids), so I have to buy everything all over again.  Our car seats 5 and we will soon be a family of 6 so we've got some serious saving to do.  It's a bit stressful to have so much to buy but it's also exciting.  I'm excited to get new maternity clothes and to buy cute new baby stuff.  I'm thrilled to be working toward getting a van with lots of room for our growing family.

Although pregnancy can be rough and feeling sick is never fun, I am thrilled to be pregnant again and hope I can stay positive and create some good memories.

Jacob and I sweating our guts out at Sea World last week.  You can see how thrilled he is.  :)

Back for more

After 6 months that felt like 6 years, we are finally pregnant! Today I am a little more than 3 weeks pregnant. Super early, I know. The day before yesterday I used a pregnancy test, not expecting anything at all. I'm probably the pregnancy test industry's best customer. The possibility that I could be pregnant and the excitement that brings always outweighs my desire to be sensible. So, I took the test, feeling 99.9% positive that it would be negative. After the standard 3 minute wait, I looked at the test and saw nothing at first glance. So I kept waiting till the 10 minute mark when I checked it out again. When I picked it up and held it just right in the perfect lighting, I saw a second pink line. It was so so so so very very faint I wasn't sure it was really even there. I did some online research and found that it's not uncommon for an extremely faint line to appear, even when you aren't pregnant. My line was certainly extremely faint. After reading through several forums, I found instructions for how to determine if this is the real deal or not on this website: http://www.amandabears.com/how-to-tweak-a-pregnancy-test.html . It even has a name, "tweaking." I uploaded my picture, viewed it up close, changed the exposure, and couldn't even see the line any more. Bummer. I now felt 100% positive that I was not pregnant. I was no stranger to this feeling and moved on quickly.

The next morning, I got up for my early morning potty break and Justin asked me if I was going to take the other pregnancy test I had tucked away in the bathroom drawer. I felt sure that I either wasn't pregnant or that it was way too early to tell so I hadn't even thought of taking another test. But Justin's question caught me off guard and opened my mind to the possibility of testing again. After he left for work I went about my day but the next time I needed to pee I made a completely impulsive decision to test again. 3 minutes later I checked out the test and this time there was DEFINITELY a line! Eureka! Pregnant at last! I still couldn't believe my eyes and bought another digital test today. In less than a minute my result appeared: pregnant!

Because it's so early on in the pregnancy and because we had such a hard time getting pregnant, Justin and I both feel extremely paranoid and worried about everything. I had believed that it just wasn't possible for us, that we were doomed to infertility forever, that my body was broken and I needed a dr. to make things right before we would ever achieve conception. I feel so grateful to Heavenly Father for allowing just the right circumstances to take place in order to achieve pregnancy. There are so many factors that contribute to a successful pregnancy, so much that can go wrong and so much that has to be just right. It is such great evidence to me that this is God's work. It seems that whenever I feel like God might not be on my side, He proves to me, in a huge way, that He is.

I don't have many symptoms so far since it's so early, but I'm grateful for each one that I do have because it means this is really real and I am actually experiencing pregnancy for probably the last time. I'm tired, I have a big appetite, I seem to have already lost my mind (pregnancy forgetfulness), I mix up words, I get really hot and really cold, I'm starting to notice intense smells, I have some cramps, and I'm seriously bloated, among some other things. I'm excited for things to progress and for my pregnancy to become more obvious to me. I don't feel much different than I did last month other than the things mentioned above.

I'm trying hard to eat well and continue to exercise. I am cutting out refined sugar for the most part (special occasions aside) and focusing on eating fruit and veggies as much as possible. I've been taking prenatal vitamins for several months now so I'm already in that habit.

Justin and I bought a bottle of fancy sparkling peach pop from Ikea a few weeks ago and we've been saving it for this moment. Actually drinking it and toasting to being parents again was a little different than I imagined. The kids were up late and when they were FINALLY all in bed, Justin poured our drink into two mugs and I sat up in bed, toasted, had two sips, then immediately fell asleep. That's pregnancy for ya.

My mind is going a million miles a minute and pregnancy is pretty much all I can think about right now. I'm excited for the actual date my period is due to come and go. I'm excited for several weeks to pass so Justin and I can share the good news with our family. Most of all, I am thrilled to be on my way to having another amazing daughter or son!

How to stay positive now!?!?!

I am now 3 days past my "guess date"-- longer than I've ever been pregnant before! I have spent a good part of the past 3 days freaking out internally. I have wondered about every possible complication and considered every natural induction method. However, something has kept me from acting. I did try pressing an accupressure point on my hand on Wednesday night. On Thursday, I had contractions that were between 4 and 10 minutes apart for the ENTIRE DAY! I got pretty excited and thought surely my baby would be born that evening or at least by the next day. Come Friday morning, I was still babyless and I had reached my "guess date." Here are a few methods I have considered:

Foley Balloon Catheter: I haven't really considered this one but I know it is an option. I also know that it can lead to frustration if it doesn't fall out when you are ready for it to and possibly to malposition of the baby's head. Also, you could remain 4 cm dilated for weeks after and wonder why the heck nothing is happening.

Accupressure points: As I mentioned before, I already tried this one. It did seem to lead to some contractions but it was frustrating that those contractions never became more intense or closer or longer. I don't want to go through another day of contractions that may or may not be effectively dilating my cervix.

Herbs: I have been taking a five week herbal formula that tones my uterus. I could take larger doses of blue and black cohosh but they thin your blood and you run the risk of hemorrhaging after birth. No thanks! Evening primrose oil can soften your cervix but from what I understood at my last prenatal appointment, my cervix is nice and soft, just not dilated past a 1. What I need are effective contractions! Red raspberry leaf tea doesn't actually induce labor, just tones your uterus.

Nipple Stimulation: Nipple stimulation does produce oxytocin which leads to contractions. It also has some possibly unpleasant and dangerous side effects. On the unpleasant side, you have to stimulate your nipples for fifteen minutes at a time for hours on end. Sounds like my idea of hell. Also, you can overstimulate your uterus causing your water to break or your baby to be distressed. And as always, you run the risk of having lots of fun contractions that are ineffective.

Castor Oil: Castor oil pretty much works by causing intestinal cramps that irritate the uterus and cause it to contract. It also causes horrible diarrhea. Besides the fact that horrible diarrhea would be no fun, it can also lead to dehydration. Dehydration can lead to low amniotic fluid which can lead to medical induction which can lead to c-section. Also, a dehydrated uterus leads to very painful contractions. As always, it doesn't always lead to the start of labor. Oh yes, and it tastes nasty.

Stripping membranes: Stripping the amniotic membranes away from the cervix can produce prostiglandins which can ripen the cervix. You run the risk of your membranes accidentally being ruptured which then puts you "on the clock." Your baby needs to be born within a certain amount of time, whether he is ready to or not. I have also heard that it can be a rather painful procedure. I am considering trying this method if I am still pregnant tomorrow at my prenatal appointment. We'll see!

There is always sex, walking, and eating certain foods. I don't put much stock into the food idea but I'm not opposed to either the sex or the walking. Neither has produced any results for me thus far though!

So, I am thinking the "wait patiently and remain positive" approach is probably going to be the one for me! I am not even considered to be medically overdue until 42 weeks and I am only a few days past my "guess date." As long as Jacob and I are both healthy I don't see a good reason to induce. He might be using these last few days to receive further instruction from my mom or Doug or my grandparents on how to best help our family or how to transition to earth life. He might be learning about the physical sensations he will experience here. I know I am having experiences that I might not otherwise have if he had already been born. I got so worked up and crazy the other day that I had to sing a hymn to calm myself down. I forgot how powerful hymns can be. It was so comforting to me and I am so glad I was able to have that experience. I sang the hymn, How Great Thou Art, and I was able to really contemplate what an amazing creator the Lord is and how lucky and blessed I am to be a partner in that along with my husband.

I wanted my kids to be able to go to Cornbelly's this year and have a fun Halloween activity before the baby is here. We were able to go on Saturday because I am still pregnant. They had a way good time and got one more day to be our two kids before they will have another sibling to consider.

I have been having some pretty intense and vivid dreams about my aunt for the past week or so. I woke up Sunday morning and started listening to one of my hypnosis scripts. I was thinking about my dream and decided to call my aunt right away. I was thinking of what I would say on her answering machine if she didn't pick up. Suddenly, my phone rang. It was her! She was in my driveway. Talking to her was something I wanted to do before the "the baby's here" call. She has a really healthy perspective on pregnancy and what a blessing it is and what a huge experience it must be for the baby. It was great to talk to her. Later that day, Justin took the kids to church and I stayed home and got a lot of time to myself to think about how I really feel. I felt calm and prepared. I told Jacob that Mommy is ready for him but he is welcome to stay as long as he needs to. Justin gave me a blessing a few weeks ago and blessed me with patience and calm and I have definitely needed it. I am so grateful that he is able to use his priesthood to bless me with things that I need.

I want to have the best possible birth experience and I think that starts with going into labor at the perfect time for me and my baby. Jacob will be born on his birthday! :) And I will have the peace of knowing it was the right day for him!

75% there!

Today I am 7 months pregnant. I am passed the 30 week mark and I only have 25% left!

I am excited to start my HypnoBabies class in the next few weeks and interested to find out how it compares to HypnoBirthing. My teacher sent a HypnoBabies C.D. with two visualizations on it for us to practice with. Justin and I can't make it past the introduction without passing out!! Maybe I should try listening earlier in the day.

I still want to buy a baby swing and a nice diaper bag. There are tons of things left on the to-do list and it is definitely time to start checking them off! I think I will feel less anxious once everything is prepared.

My kids love their baby brother already and can't wait for him to be born. I don't know if Everett understands entirely that Jacob will be here to stay after he is born but I'm sure he'll catch on quickly. :) Charity thinks that she is going to do EVERYTHING for the baby, except nurse. She says when he needs to nurse, she will hand him to me till he's done. Then she will resume being the mommy. I'm sure she is going to be a lot of help!

I can't wait to see my baby. I am having lots of dreams about holding him and other babies now. He is in my thoughts (and my ribs) 24 hours a day! I go from feeling so excited and anxious that I feel like I am going to burst and then feeling like everything is perfect now and he can take his sweet time before he comes and changes our lives so dramatically. 10 weeks is probably the perfect amount of time to get myself prepared. I can't wait!!

Almost There!

So, I passed up the third trimester mark. I only have about two and a half months left!! I am supposed to start having appointments with Suzanne every 2 weeks now. Baby Jacob has grown so much and I can't believe I am already to this point. Everything I have been reading talks about how he is pretty much all done, just getting fatter!! I think he is a big baby but I guess we'll see! He is very responsive to touch and to noise. If one of the kids or Justin talk to him, he wiggles like crazy. I have seen a few Halloween things in stores and it makes me realize how soon he will be in my arms! I am excited to have him here but I am also enjoying building my relationship with him now. I feel like I know him better every day. I start a HypnoBabies class in about a month and I am so excited for that!! I think it will be just the preparation that I need to feel confident and ready. I get more excited every second!

Burping My Baby

I have a pregnancy journal that has different bits of information about pregnancy each day. Today under the section Parenting Tips it reads: "When you hold your baby to your shoulder to burp it after a feeding, put a towel on your shoulder to catch dribbles. If you're not comfortable holding the baby at your shoulder, try laying it on your lap, tummy down with it's head turned a little to the side. Rub it's back from the bottom up or pat gently. You can also burp a baby by sitting it on your lap, placing a hand on it's chest, and leaning it forward while gently patting it's back." These are all positions that I have used so many times to burp my babies. I could picture holding baby Jacob's little chest and patting his back so easily. I think I avoid thinking about the kind of interactions I will have with him because it gets me SO excited and I know I still have some time left before I can snuggle him! I can't wait to hold his cute little cheeks in my hand and smell his perfect baby breath.

Charity's Birth Story

It was a muggy July evening. My home was heavy with moist heat that made my perspiring skin shine. Despite the thickness of the air I felt light, detached. I softly floated off to dreamland, filled with images of a sweet, soft girl, tightly snuggled against my breast. An hour later I was awakened to the sharpness of my busy uterus flexing, releasing, and then flexing again. I’d had sensations like this before; after making love, working hard, or sitting in a cramped position. I assured myself that tonight was not the night, and then concentrated on the image of my beautiful baby again. More flexing, releasing, flexing again. I knew how to soothe the intensity. I rolled toward my sleepy husband and whispered that I would be in the bath; he could sleep if he wanted.
The hot water instantly calmed me. I scooped it up in my cupped hand and washed it over my ripe belly. My husband soon joined me, a look of concern crossing his brow. “Do you want me to call your sisters?” he asked. I pondered the question and discovered that I just didn’t know. I wasn’t sure how to release the tension that squeezed at my belly, my hips, my thighs, and my back. “I guess so,” I answered hesitantly. When my three older sisters arrived I felt relieved, confident. They brought wisdom, experience, and power. We sat close together on the couches in my tiny living room. We talked about what I was feeling and compared it to how they had felt. We laughed. With each tightening of my uterus the room fell silent. The concentrated effort was not mine alone. I could feel my husband and sisters meditating with me.
A few hours later we called my midwife. My husband began to fill our birthing tub with warm water. When it was filled, we sat together in the tub. Each time I felt my tummy tighten my husband would push harder into my back. The pressure took the focus away from my pain. Low, primal sounds came from my throat, opening my cervix and giving me control. When I felt uncertain I would look into the eyes of my beautiful and wise midwife. I saw steady confidence in them. She told me to reach down and feel the bag of waters surrounding my baby. It soon burst and I could feel her soft head covered with fine hair. I felt my bones shifting to make room for her.
At the most intense moment I remembered that I was not alone. I believe in a loving God who is intimately involved in the details of my life. I called on him for assurance and instantly received it. I knew that women had been giving birth this way since Mother Eve. My body was divinely designed to provide bodies for God’s spirit children.
After only ten minutes of all-consuming pushing my daughter was born. I felt so contented, restored, and gratified. Although I was surrounded by my mother-in-law and two sisters-in-law, my own mother and three sisters, my 4 month old nephew, whose birth I had attended, and my midwife and her assistant, I could see no one but my beautiful Charity. I heard the sobs of joy from my husband as he encircled us in his loving arms. Charity Lucille Barlow was born on July 11th, 2003 at 7:37 a.m. in my home in Orem, Utah. She weighed 7 lbs. 10 oz. and was 20.5 inches long.

Changing My Mind

I am six months pregnant with my third child. I spend the first several months of pregnancy barfing my guts out or wanting to. I get super depressed and spend lots of time laying around, hiding from the world and my responsibilities. It is a long and painful time. Then the second trimester begins and things start to get easier. I stop feeling sick and start having more energy. It seems like along with that energy I would have a brighter outlook and get a lot more done. Sadly, at that point, I have formed some really bad habits. I have gotten into a negative thinking rut. I have spent way too much time being pregnant and hating it! Well, today I realized that having a positive approach to pregnancy is up to me. I only have a few more months till I will be going through labor and giving birth to my son and I want it to be a positive experience! I can't expect that to happen if I can't think positively. I want to remember all of the reasons that pregnancy is beautiful and sacred. I want to use this blog to focus on that. Hopefully I can look back at it during future pregnancies and have a more positive experience from the beginning. Pregnancy is a beautiful and wonderful time and it only lasts a short while. I am learning to enjoy it!

An inspiring poem from the book Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Your Growing Latter-day Saint Family

Praises for a Mother's Body

Lord, I thank thee for this wonderful body
Which walks in wooded forest and splashes in crystal water,
Sees color bright flowers and sweet baby smiles,
Hears heavenly music of choirs and sings in reply.
Speaks words of wisdom from thy sacred book,
Savors honey dripping juice of fruit.
Touches love's soft skin in tickles and sighs,
Which feels a thousand emotions of opposition to know joy.
Lord, I thank thee for this mother's body,
Which thou hast blessed with miracle of godly creation.
An embryo of innocent spirit and new flesh made complete,
Swelling woman's belly and soul to overflowing.
Senses peaking in work of agony and ecstasy,
Bring forth in mighty forces of strength,
Precious child of this wonderful body,
Who came from me and thee.

Kathleen Tooley Johnson