A little bum(med)

Lots to update today.  At my last prenatal appt. with Suzanne, we discovered that Austin may be breech.  Suzanne checked his position and thought he was head down but then I asked her what the giant, hard, round ball torturing my ribs was.  She felt it and said it felt quite a bit like a head.  It was hard and moveable, just like heads are.  We made an appointment for Monday (today), to confirm Austin's position by ultrasound and, if he was indeed breech, to attempt an external version.

I spent a few days wondering if the giant ball in my ribs was, indeed, a head.  I felt nervous and curious and anxious, but somehow I also felt very accepting of any outcome, as long as my baby was safe.  I felt pretty certain that I could feel the side of his face in my ribs.  I knew the chances of the version working were not high.

Well, as it turns out, he is definitely breech.  He also has the cord wrapped around his neck what looks like a few times.  Ugh.  It wouldn't be safe to attempt a version with him all tangled up in his cord.  Pretty much my only safe option at this point is to find an ob and schedule a cesarean section.  After 3 normal, fast, easy, safe home births, this is not at all what I wanted or expected.

BUT, I'm trying to look on the bright side.  I know I have to mourn the loss of what I wanted a little, but then I need to move on and start looking forward to the birth of my baby.  So I'm making a list of pros:

1. The biggest pro of all is that Austin can be born safely, without the risk of him getting stuck, or his cord compressing too much.
2. I'll be able to schedule my c-section which is really convenient for Justin taking work off and for getting babysitters, etc.
3. I will, probably, be scheduling my c-section earlier than Austin's due date which means less time being pregnant, and a less ginormo baby.  His estimated weight as of today is 6 lbs. 6 oz. or maybe 7 lbs. 6 oz.  If I'm pregnant till my due date, that makes for AT LEAST a 9 lb. baby.  If I go a week or two early, I might get a newborn-sized newborn.  It's been a while.
4. I probably won't experience any labor pain.  While it is hugely rewarding and satisfying to me to accomplish the feat of natural labor and childbirth, it is still something I get anxious and scared about and I won't have to worry about it now.
5. It will be cheaper.  I'm pretty sure our insurance covers all but 1000 bucks which is 2000 cheaper than we planned on.  That'll be super nice.

That's all I have come up with at the moment.  Hopefully I'll think of some more pros as I prepare for this new adventure.  I'm sure it's all for a reason.  I will gain new experience and be able to relate to people who have been in the same situation.  I'm sure there are many things to be learned from it all and I'm grateful for the opportunity to grow and expand my mind.  

Now the obstetrician search begins.  I mostly want someone who is a good and experienced surgeon.  However, there are a few things that are really important to me that I'm afraid I'll have to really push to get.

1. It is hugely important to me that I have skin to skin contact with my baby very shortly after his birth.  I know it facilitates bonding and an easier nursing experience, among many other benefits.  I feel very strongly that a baby that was inside of me for 9 months should not be quickly whisked away to a table to be prodded and poked and weighed and measured and diapered and burrito wrapped.  He was just in me, he should now be on me.
2. I don't want to him to get goop in his eyes, a vitamin K shot, or any immunizations.  I want to wait a few days and only do 1 pku.
3. I don't want to be in a separate room from him for a single moment.  Someone who has been so close to me for so long should not suddenly be all the way in another room.  Especially someone so vulnerable and helpless as a newborn baby.  I think that would be emotionally distressing for him and for me.
4. I want a provider who is going to listen to me and take me seriously and consider my wishes.

I've got a lot to think about and plan over the next few weeks!

35 weeks!  I am carrying super high because he is not, at all, engaged in my pelvis.