How to stay positive now!?!?!

I am now 3 days past my "guess date"-- longer than I've ever been pregnant before! I have spent a good part of the past 3 days freaking out internally. I have wondered about every possible complication and considered every natural induction method. However, something has kept me from acting. I did try pressing an accupressure point on my hand on Wednesday night. On Thursday, I had contractions that were between 4 and 10 minutes apart for the ENTIRE DAY! I got pretty excited and thought surely my baby would be born that evening or at least by the next day. Come Friday morning, I was still babyless and I had reached my "guess date." Here are a few methods I have considered:

Foley Balloon Catheter: I haven't really considered this one but I know it is an option. I also know that it can lead to frustration if it doesn't fall out when you are ready for it to and possibly to malposition of the baby's head. Also, you could remain 4 cm dilated for weeks after and wonder why the heck nothing is happening.

Accupressure points: As I mentioned before, I already tried this one. It did seem to lead to some contractions but it was frustrating that those contractions never became more intense or closer or longer. I don't want to go through another day of contractions that may or may not be effectively dilating my cervix.

Herbs: I have been taking a five week herbal formula that tones my uterus. I could take larger doses of blue and black cohosh but they thin your blood and you run the risk of hemorrhaging after birth. No thanks! Evening primrose oil can soften your cervix but from what I understood at my last prenatal appointment, my cervix is nice and soft, just not dilated past a 1. What I need are effective contractions! Red raspberry leaf tea doesn't actually induce labor, just tones your uterus.

Nipple Stimulation: Nipple stimulation does produce oxytocin which leads to contractions. It also has some possibly unpleasant and dangerous side effects. On the unpleasant side, you have to stimulate your nipples for fifteen minutes at a time for hours on end. Sounds like my idea of hell. Also, you can overstimulate your uterus causing your water to break or your baby to be distressed. And as always, you run the risk of having lots of fun contractions that are ineffective.

Castor Oil: Castor oil pretty much works by causing intestinal cramps that irritate the uterus and cause it to contract. It also causes horrible diarrhea. Besides the fact that horrible diarrhea would be no fun, it can also lead to dehydration. Dehydration can lead to low amniotic fluid which can lead to medical induction which can lead to c-section. Also, a dehydrated uterus leads to very painful contractions. As always, it doesn't always lead to the start of labor. Oh yes, and it tastes nasty.

Stripping membranes: Stripping the amniotic membranes away from the cervix can produce prostiglandins which can ripen the cervix. You run the risk of your membranes accidentally being ruptured which then puts you "on the clock." Your baby needs to be born within a certain amount of time, whether he is ready to or not. I have also heard that it can be a rather painful procedure. I am considering trying this method if I am still pregnant tomorrow at my prenatal appointment. We'll see!

There is always sex, walking, and eating certain foods. I don't put much stock into the food idea but I'm not opposed to either the sex or the walking. Neither has produced any results for me thus far though!

So, I am thinking the "wait patiently and remain positive" approach is probably going to be the one for me! I am not even considered to be medically overdue until 42 weeks and I am only a few days past my "guess date." As long as Jacob and I are both healthy I don't see a good reason to induce. He might be using these last few days to receive further instruction from my mom or Doug or my grandparents on how to best help our family or how to transition to earth life. He might be learning about the physical sensations he will experience here. I know I am having experiences that I might not otherwise have if he had already been born. I got so worked up and crazy the other day that I had to sing a hymn to calm myself down. I forgot how powerful hymns can be. It was so comforting to me and I am so glad I was able to have that experience. I sang the hymn, How Great Thou Art, and I was able to really contemplate what an amazing creator the Lord is and how lucky and blessed I am to be a partner in that along with my husband.

I wanted my kids to be able to go to Cornbelly's this year and have a fun Halloween activity before the baby is here. We were able to go on Saturday because I am still pregnant. They had a way good time and got one more day to be our two kids before they will have another sibling to consider.

I have been having some pretty intense and vivid dreams about my aunt for the past week or so. I woke up Sunday morning and started listening to one of my hypnosis scripts. I was thinking about my dream and decided to call my aunt right away. I was thinking of what I would say on her answering machine if she didn't pick up. Suddenly, my phone rang. It was her! She was in my driveway. Talking to her was something I wanted to do before the "the baby's here" call. She has a really healthy perspective on pregnancy and what a blessing it is and what a huge experience it must be for the baby. It was great to talk to her. Later that day, Justin took the kids to church and I stayed home and got a lot of time to myself to think about how I really feel. I felt calm and prepared. I told Jacob that Mommy is ready for him but he is welcome to stay as long as he needs to. Justin gave me a blessing a few weeks ago and blessed me with patience and calm and I have definitely needed it. I am so grateful that he is able to use his priesthood to bless me with things that I need.

I want to have the best possible birth experience and I think that starts with going into labor at the perfect time for me and my baby. Jacob will be born on his birthday! :) And I will have the peace of knowing it was the right day for him!

75% there!

Today I am 7 months pregnant. I am passed the 30 week mark and I only have 25% left!

I am excited to start my HypnoBabies class in the next few weeks and interested to find out how it compares to HypnoBirthing. My teacher sent a HypnoBabies C.D. with two visualizations on it for us to practice with. Justin and I can't make it past the introduction without passing out!! Maybe I should try listening earlier in the day.

I still want to buy a baby swing and a nice diaper bag. There are tons of things left on the to-do list and it is definitely time to start checking them off! I think I will feel less anxious once everything is prepared.

My kids love their baby brother already and can't wait for him to be born. I don't know if Everett understands entirely that Jacob will be here to stay after he is born but I'm sure he'll catch on quickly. :) Charity thinks that she is going to do EVERYTHING for the baby, except nurse. She says when he needs to nurse, she will hand him to me till he's done. Then she will resume being the mommy. I'm sure she is going to be a lot of help!

I can't wait to see my baby. I am having lots of dreams about holding him and other babies now. He is in my thoughts (and my ribs) 24 hours a day! I go from feeling so excited and anxious that I feel like I am going to burst and then feeling like everything is perfect now and he can take his sweet time before he comes and changes our lives so dramatically. 10 weeks is probably the perfect amount of time to get myself prepared. I can't wait!!

Almost There!

So, I passed up the third trimester mark. I only have about two and a half months left!! I am supposed to start having appointments with Suzanne every 2 weeks now. Baby Jacob has grown so much and I can't believe I am already to this point. Everything I have been reading talks about how he is pretty much all done, just getting fatter!! I think he is a big baby but I guess we'll see! He is very responsive to touch and to noise. If one of the kids or Justin talk to him, he wiggles like crazy. I have seen a few Halloween things in stores and it makes me realize how soon he will be in my arms! I am excited to have him here but I am also enjoying building my relationship with him now. I feel like I know him better every day. I start a HypnoBabies class in about a month and I am so excited for that!! I think it will be just the preparation that I need to feel confident and ready. I get more excited every second!

Burping My Baby

I have a pregnancy journal that has different bits of information about pregnancy each day. Today under the section Parenting Tips it reads: "When you hold your baby to your shoulder to burp it after a feeding, put a towel on your shoulder to catch dribbles. If you're not comfortable holding the baby at your shoulder, try laying it on your lap, tummy down with it's head turned a little to the side. Rub it's back from the bottom up or pat gently. You can also burp a baby by sitting it on your lap, placing a hand on it's chest, and leaning it forward while gently patting it's back." These are all positions that I have used so many times to burp my babies. I could picture holding baby Jacob's little chest and patting his back so easily. I think I avoid thinking about the kind of interactions I will have with him because it gets me SO excited and I know I still have some time left before I can snuggle him! I can't wait to hold his cute little cheeks in my hand and smell his perfect baby breath.

Charity's Birth Story

It was a muggy July evening. My home was heavy with moist heat that made my perspiring skin shine. Despite the thickness of the air I felt light, detached. I softly floated off to dreamland, filled with images of a sweet, soft girl, tightly snuggled against my breast. An hour later I was awakened to the sharpness of my busy uterus flexing, releasing, and then flexing again. I’d had sensations like this before; after making love, working hard, or sitting in a cramped position. I assured myself that tonight was not the night, and then concentrated on the image of my beautiful baby again. More flexing, releasing, flexing again. I knew how to soothe the intensity. I rolled toward my sleepy husband and whispered that I would be in the bath; he could sleep if he wanted.
The hot water instantly calmed me. I scooped it up in my cupped hand and washed it over my ripe belly. My husband soon joined me, a look of concern crossing his brow. “Do you want me to call your sisters?” he asked. I pondered the question and discovered that I just didn’t know. I wasn’t sure how to release the tension that squeezed at my belly, my hips, my thighs, and my back. “I guess so,” I answered hesitantly. When my three older sisters arrived I felt relieved, confident. They brought wisdom, experience, and power. We sat close together on the couches in my tiny living room. We talked about what I was feeling and compared it to how they had felt. We laughed. With each tightening of my uterus the room fell silent. The concentrated effort was not mine alone. I could feel my husband and sisters meditating with me.
A few hours later we called my midwife. My husband began to fill our birthing tub with warm water. When it was filled, we sat together in the tub. Each time I felt my tummy tighten my husband would push harder into my back. The pressure took the focus away from my pain. Low, primal sounds came from my throat, opening my cervix and giving me control. When I felt uncertain I would look into the eyes of my beautiful and wise midwife. I saw steady confidence in them. She told me to reach down and feel the bag of waters surrounding my baby. It soon burst and I could feel her soft head covered with fine hair. I felt my bones shifting to make room for her.
At the most intense moment I remembered that I was not alone. I believe in a loving God who is intimately involved in the details of my life. I called on him for assurance and instantly received it. I knew that women had been giving birth this way since Mother Eve. My body was divinely designed to provide bodies for God’s spirit children.
After only ten minutes of all-consuming pushing my daughter was born. I felt so contented, restored, and gratified. Although I was surrounded by my mother-in-law and two sisters-in-law, my own mother and three sisters, my 4 month old nephew, whose birth I had attended, and my midwife and her assistant, I could see no one but my beautiful Charity. I heard the sobs of joy from my husband as he encircled us in his loving arms. Charity Lucille Barlow was born on July 11th, 2003 at 7:37 a.m. in my home in Orem, Utah. She weighed 7 lbs. 10 oz. and was 20.5 inches long.

Changing My Mind

I am six months pregnant with my third child. I spend the first several months of pregnancy barfing my guts out or wanting to. I get super depressed and spend lots of time laying around, hiding from the world and my responsibilities. It is a long and painful time. Then the second trimester begins and things start to get easier. I stop feeling sick and start having more energy. It seems like along with that energy I would have a brighter outlook and get a lot more done. Sadly, at that point, I have formed some really bad habits. I have gotten into a negative thinking rut. I have spent way too much time being pregnant and hating it! Well, today I realized that having a positive approach to pregnancy is up to me. I only have a few more months till I will be going through labor and giving birth to my son and I want it to be a positive experience! I can't expect that to happen if I can't think positively. I want to remember all of the reasons that pregnancy is beautiful and sacred. I want to use this blog to focus on that. Hopefully I can look back at it during future pregnancies and have a more positive experience from the beginning. Pregnancy is a beautiful and wonderful time and it only lasts a short while. I am learning to enjoy it!

An inspiring poem from the book Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Your Growing Latter-day Saint Family

Praises for a Mother's Body

Lord, I thank thee for this wonderful body
Which walks in wooded forest and splashes in crystal water,
Sees color bright flowers and sweet baby smiles,
Hears heavenly music of choirs and sings in reply.
Speaks words of wisdom from thy sacred book,
Savors honey dripping juice of fruit.
Touches love's soft skin in tickles and sighs,
Which feels a thousand emotions of opposition to know joy.
Lord, I thank thee for this mother's body,
Which thou hast blessed with miracle of godly creation.
An embryo of innocent spirit and new flesh made complete,
Swelling woman's belly and soul to overflowing.
Senses peaking in work of agony and ecstasy,
Bring forth in mighty forces of strength,
Precious child of this wonderful body,
Who came from me and thee.

Kathleen Tooley Johnson